Addison's...Latest...Victim

Addison.Strikes.Again...HerLatestVictim...ourComputerKeyboard.Spacebar...GONE!If I press hard between each word I can make a space but...itTookMe5minJustToTypeThatLastSentence...SO...evenThoughIhavePlentyOfBlog-worthy-material-I-really-don't-think-you'd-want-to-read-it-like-this. :( LooksLikeIGetToDoWhatIDoBest...Make-another-DR-appt...for-the-computer-this-time!Hopefully-it-won't-scream-about-getting-a-band-aid-like-its-attacker-does!

Nice Shoes!

This morning I woke up to a loud truck passing by.  It instantly made me think of the garbage truck.  Which then made me think "Is it Tuesday? YES, it is!" I then remembered that I did NOT roll out the overflowing garbage can to the curb last night. 

We have garbage pick-up once a week.  And unfortunately, we have a completely full, if not OVERFLOWING, wheeled garbage can each week.  If we dare miss a trash day by neglecting to pull the wheely can to the curb, it's a hot (stinky) mess in that garage by the NEXT Tuesday.

So, thinking that the garbage tru...excuse me, Waste Management Vehicle, is about to be passing up my trashy abode, I jumped out of bed and hit the floor running.  It had been raining so I quickly slipped on Nathan's size 11 crocs, lest I get my bare feet wet.  As I'm opening up the garage door I thought, it's only 7:00 am, so hopefully there aren't any neighbors stirring or cars passing by yet. Not that I care that much if anybody saw me being awkwardly (because they're stinkin size 11's) pulled down the driveway by the heavy wheely can in my pajamas with messy hair and yesterday's make-up under my eyes. 

I'm about half way down the driveway when I hear "Nice shoes!" 
Awww, crap!!, I thought.  I turned to see who'd caught me and I see my next door neighbor is walking out to his truck.  (Even though we've lived here since July, I've only seen him and talked to him once. ...nice. -not him, the situation.  Well, I guess he's nice...except for his stupid, barking dog that I'd like to CHOKE most days...ANYWAY, that's another rant for another day!) 

You know when you wake up startled by something and your first words of the day come out warbled and jumbly and don't make complete sense?  Yeah, that was me at that moment.  I stuttered something like "I, I, thought I heard big truck.  Forgot to take it to the trash last night."  In my head I'm going (WHAAATTTT???)

He smiled and said, "Yes, you heard a big truck."  That was all.  He got in his truck and left.  Now that I think about it, I think his truck was running.  It was probably HIS truck I heard start up!  Oh well.

I probably looked like the village...or neighborhood idiot this morning, but...I got that trash out in time!

RESTART!!

You ever have those days where you get up and within the hour, you realize you need to hit the restart button and try that all again?  Nah, never happens to me either.  Yesterday I had to take Addison to the doctor.  Fever, ear pain, you know the drill... So, I have recently become a BRAVE WOMAN and no longer find a babysitter for the well child, in order to only take one with me to doctor visits.  (I paid for this deeply this day!) I also go ahead and let them schedule me with the earliest available appointment time too. (Livin' on the wild side!) That's so I can run my britches off trying to get myself and the other two, one of which is undoubtedly crying or throwing fits cause no two can have good days on the SAME DAY, ready and out the door by only 5 minutes late.  RESTART! RESTART!! 


So we get to the appointment and only have to wait 5 minutes before I see our nurse coming to get us.  THE DAY IS LOOKIN' UP FOLKS!  As we follow the nurse making our approach to the scale, all H E double L breaks loose.  (Addison is walking and I'm carrying Macy in her car seat-that weighs 897 pounds. Can you see it?)  Addison balks and begins screaming her head off "NO!!!! I DON'T WANNA BAN-AID!! NO!" and is absolutely having a screaming fit and won't even THINK about stepping on that scale.  RESTART! RESTART!


So, I put on my excellent mother facade and I'm sure in an OVERLY exaggerated manner, I calmly and collectively sit Macy down and go to comfort Addison who thinks she's about to get a shot.  When Macy sees me step away, she looks at the nurse and a couple of other on-staff onlookers who've approached the scene of the chaos, and SHE goes to pieces.  So as I'm wrestling Addi onto the scale, the nurse turns and begins to unharness a screaming, bucking Macy from her car seat, which only escalates her ear piercing cries.  We finally manage to get Addison's weight while the nurse is still trying to hang on to a fit throwing baby. I take Macy from her, crying stops instantly, and Addison takes my hand and all is calm again.  The nurse is just standing there gazing at me.  I'm sure by this time I've got a hair or two out of place and look like a deer in headlights.  I took a deep breath and said "Well, CRAP! Get us to a room! STAT!!"  She said "You'd have thought I'd pinched them both back there!" I said "Yeah, WHAT DID YOU DO?!!"


Once in the room, I quickly made up a bottle and stuck it into Macy's mouth and gave Addison some crayons to color on the exam table paper with.  Both were temporarily happy...aside from Addison insisting "I NOT GET A BAN-AID MAMA!" every 2 minutes.  Macy got her 2nd round of flu vaccine, which of course started the crying again and terrified Addi AGAIN...more of the "I NOT GET A BAN-AID!" declarations start.  Then the Dr walked in and said her usual "Hello Addison and Macy, I'm Dr blah, blah, blah .... is all that was heard as they BOTH fell apart AGAIN! RESTART! RESTART!


The on again, off again screaming and fighting every movement of the doctor and nurse continued throughout the visit but we finally made it through the appointment-all limbs still attached and hair in tact, for the most part.  As we were exiting the room I heard the nurse and her intern (lucky her!) behind us sharply exhale as if to say "whew, they're leaving!" (Ugh! Well I say! The nerve!)  I say without looking back "Welp, we made ya work hard for ya money today, didn't we?!" They laughed, but I'm sure it was a laugh of relief.


Addison has double ear infections but no bladder infection....she finally decided it was ok to "pee" in their little bag they attached to her.  That's a whole 'nother story... Pretty sure it would contain TMI, so I'll probably just keep that one to myself.