My Traumatic Day

What a day...and it is not even over yet. Any of you that know me very well know that I am a fraidy cat. A BIG one! I have been known to nearly jump on someones back (Hope-when we were walking together one day) when hearing a dog bark at me from out of nowhere. I've left fingerprints and possibly nail impressions on people at the slightest unexpected noise. I'm pretty sure I've nearly taken off an arm of a really good friend (Deana) on more than one occasion. It does not take much to frighten me. I used to try to be a brave person and to try to prove that to myself ~I once even rode one of those vertical acceleration rides. It's like dyslexic bungee jumping. You strap yourself and another brave friend into this cage that is being held to the ground by a large claw. The operator pushes a button and the bungee cords that are attached to both sides of your cage start to tighten. They pull and tighten to the height of their elastabilities and then the operator pulls a lever which releases the claw that is holding your butt to the ground. All of sudden you are "vertically accelerating" high into the air...up above the crowds below...so high that you can almost see God himself and all the Heavenly angels. Or maybe that part was just my imagination as I'm pretty sure that was as close to death as I'd ever felt. Anyhoo, once you fly up as high as your bungee cords will let you, you begin your decent back to Earth. So this is the part where I'm thinking "Praise God and Everything that is Holy! This is almost over!" But no. Once we again reach the extent of the bungee's capabilities, we go shooting back up into the air. We bounce there for several minutes, most of the time upside down, mind you, until finally the operator thinks we've had enough and he begins to lower our cage back to the ground. Once our butts were clamped to the ground again, our friendly little operator informed us that the entire event had been videoed. Yes, complete with my blood curdling screams and all. So I'm thinking it could be nice to have that video. You know, to prove my braveness to others. To show them the dangerous things that I'm capable of forcing myself to do. Then we get the kicker. You can only purchase the video if you go on the ride again, paying for another round. My partner in gallantry pipes up and says "Sure, we'll do it again!" However by the time he (yes, he~my best friend wouldn't go with me and my own boyfriend wouldn't go on it either so I rode it with my friend's beau while she and mine watched from the ground.) got the words out of his mouth, I was already clambering out of that thing! We went through much deliberation, him, the operator and myself and once they saw that there was nothing they could say or do to entice me to go again, the operator (in obvious disgust) agreed to give him the video if someone else would ride it with him. So another poor, valiant-attempting soul got on with him and up they went. Needless to say, I think that was probably the last time I FORCED myself to be indomitable. ~like that word? I LOVE the thesaurus! Isn't it great how it can take plain ordinary words and make them so sophisticated and superior. (In case you're wondering, here's how the Encarta dictionary defines "indomitable" -'brave, determined, and impossible to defeat or frighten.') ~So me at that moment I was paying for my ticket to defy death.
Okay, so back to my day...(thanks for chasing that rabbit with me~the jest of that last paragraph: I am such a pansy!)...Tomorrow is our MOPS meeting at church and we're doing a Thanksgiving theme, for apparent reasons. So I was in Wal-Mart grocery shopping and buying everything I needed to prepare some of the food. I was looking at the whole turkey breasts and much to my disappointment, they were ALL frozen. Who knew that a turkey breast takes 24-48 hours just to THAW!?? So I'm beginning to get worried as I'm digging through the turkeys hoping to find just one that isn't completely frozen solid. Finally, after getting frostbite on my nose and fingers, I give up. When I crawl out of the freezer bin of turkeys, an elderly lady is standing there looking at me. She has halted her grocery shopping to watch me. As I begin to pass by her, ever aware of her standing there staring at me and wondering why, she says "Honey, there are more turkeys down there in the other bin if you want another brand." I said, "Well, no, I don't care about the brand. They're all frozen!" I'm looking at her in utter confusion as if to say 'the gall of people to freeze all of the birds!' Now not only am I looking dazed and confused but so is she. Only she's directing it at ME. Then, in all seriousness, she says, "Well what did you expect to get, A LIVE BIRD!?" As I saw it, at that moment I had a couple of choices to make. Tell the old lady that I didn't appreciate her sarcasm in my time of need OR just laugh and say, I'll go look in that other bin. Of course, I chose the latter. She wished me good luck and walked away shaking her head. I'm sure saying to herself "Ughh, women these days. Don't have the sense God gave a goose!"
To my defense I DID, in fact, find the whole turkey breasts that were not frozen! They were in the fresh meats section. So humph! ONWARD TO CONQUER THE ROASTING!
As if I didn't seem crazy enough in that last encounter, the Lord saw fit to make me look even nuttier before I could exit the store. This time, I was in the check out line. So proud of myself that I'd found my birds and all the other fixin's I needed. I've unloaded the cart and am now reaching over into the empty cart to put in my bags when I see this THING jump at me from inside of my cart. Of course, I scream and jump 10 feet in the air. Once I landed, I saw that the "thing" was a LIZARD in my cart!! Now, my cashier is standing there holding her heart with both hands, eyes bugging out and breathing heavy. I'm pretty sure I just sent her half way to a coronary...maybe a little closer. She says "Lady, what is the matter with you?!" Still shaking from my reptile encounter I yell, "There's a lizard in my cart!!!" Again I got my second head shake for the day as she muttered "hoah, Lord!" She didn't even help me to extract him from my buggy either. Actually I think she was still trying to recover and finish ringing me up so that she could get me out of there. But I digress...so I pushed my cart out in front of me and tried to shake and shoo the thing off. FINALLY it decided to jump onto the floor but it didn't move after that. It just sat there right in front of my cart. I just knew if I pushed my cart an inch I would run over it and squash it. There is nothing more disgusting to me than squashing an animal ~ and I imagined that squishing that lizard would be similar to squishing a frog. Eeeewww...So I stood there waiting on it to come back to life and run away. Finally, after some foot stomping, it did and I proceeded to leave the store. Much to my cashier's relief, I'm sure.
Not long after that I was faced with a decision to make. One that both excited me immensely and terrified me at the same time. After a little prodding and negotiating from my father, Nathan and I had decided to entertain the thought of flying home, oops!, to AR. I was really excited about getting to go spend Thanksgiving with our families and getting to deer hunt with Nathan and my Dad but OH CRAP! I'm gonna have to get on an airplane! I'm not a flyer. I once could've been, but a near death experience on a plane once traumatized me so that I shudder at even the thought of it. (Okay, I know what you're thinking, "Man, she sure has a lot of 'near deathness' in her life. Maybe the ungodly turbulence wasn't a near death experience, per say, but in my mind, I thought I was going to die on that plane. The turbulence was so bad that everyone else on the plane screamed too! Not just me! :) So based on the setting and surroundings and the kind of turbulence we were experiencing...it was a near death experience. If not from the pilots losing control and crashing, then from my own heart failure.) BACK TO THE ISSUE AT HAND! It took me most of the afternoon (and tons of prayers) to finally click on that button to purchase our tickets online. I had filled in every blank, checked off everything to be checked off and was sitting at that final screen. I'd leave the room, come back and look at it, leave again, went to pick Taylor up at school and came back...button still there waiting to be clicked. As I sat there staring at it, I was shaken back to reality by my cell phone ringing. It was Nathan. "Have you done it yet??" "No, not yet." "What are you waiting on?" "I'm scared." "Are you kidding me? Buy the tickets already!" "Uggghhhhh, CLICK." Oh no, I did it. I'm committed now. Shoot! I had done it. I was exhausted. It took a lot out of me to click on that button. My fate's in God's hands now, I thought. (As if it weren't already.)
As the afternoon has gone on and prayers for peace have gone up, I've finally settled down now and I'm getting okay with it. I don't know if it's fatigue that's helping me get over it or if I'm realizing how ridiculous I am. Probably a little of both. A lot of the latter, actually. You know, I really don't know why I have such a hard time putting my faith in God for protection and my well-being. I have no trouble with faith in other areas. Last dime in the checkbook, no worries, God will provide. Making a Thanksgiving dinner for over 50 people, no worries, God will help me get it done. Flying through the air in a jet fuel propelled hunk of metal, NOPE! That's where the line is drawn; that's beyond His jurisdiction! ...Nothing could be more false. At the Women of Faith conference this past weekend, Patsy Clairmont spoke about her fears of flying to another country and she told about several other things that she "doesn't do" and about all of her different fears. The entire time I was thinking "this lady is me in 40 years!" But she went on to say that she DID do those things and she had to trust in the Lord for her protection and for strength. She had to put one foot in front of the other and step out in faith and face her fears so that she could overcome them. So I prayed with her and asked God to help me to put one foot in front of the other and face the fears that keep me from enjoying all of the pleasures of life that he's given to us. When I prayed that prayer I had no idea I would be sticking my toes out so soon! Lorda mercy, that was quick! We fly out on Sunday. THIS COMING Sunday! I bought a bible study book at the conference called 'Overcoming Fear'. I'll be sleeping with it for the next 4 nights. ;-)
Say a prayer for me.