"Don't call the fire dept., your dinner has been extinguished! And by the way, ..."

Sorry it's been so long since my last post! There's been a lot going on around here the past couple of weeks. Hmmmm....where shall I begin???

A little over two weeks ago, I started noticing some weirdness going on with me. Clumsiness, forgetfulness (way more than usual) and I burned dinner slap up two nights in a row, setting off the fire alarms and everything, smoke everywhere, the whole bit. Now I can occasionally get distracted and cook something longer than it should've been or forget that bread is in the oven and let it get too browned but I hardly EVER burn things to charred bits as I did these two nights. Never, that is, except when I'm pregnant.

It's been that way with every previous pregnancy too. I have a hard time in the kitchen; a place that I'm normally comfortable and competent in. So after that second night of burning dinner, dropping everything I put my hands on and feeling just off, I decided that the next day I would go to the store and get a pregnancy test. You know, just to put my mind at ease. I was only like a day or two late starting my cycle, nothing to get too excited about. Were it not for those other "symptoms" I was experiencing, I'd have thought nothing of it.

I get home that Tuesday afternoon, go into the bathroom to "get this over with" and 15 minutes later, I'm still in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet lid, head in my hands, staring at a test stick that's screaming POSITIVE!, thinking, "Oh Lord, are you serious??! What are you thinking, Lord? I can barely keep it together with two kids, what am I going to do with three?" I was flooded with images of myself in dirty three day old t-shirts and pajama bottoms staggering around my unbelievably trashed house with dark bags under my eyes and a far off look on my face, the two older kids running circles around me throwing the "trash" into the air while a baby sits on my hip crying and flailing its arms at me. I opened my mouth to let out a scream but remembered that Emma was in the next room watching TV and I didn't want to scare her. So instead I opened my mouth and let out a silent yelp.

I finally pulled myself together enough to exit the bathroom and make it to the couch. I kept trying to repress those overstressed worn down mommy images but they just kept coming. I was horrified. Until I realized I had a bigger problem. I was going to have to break the news to Nathan and that was NOT going to be a pleasant experience.

It was only a few days prior to this day that he and I had a talk and decided that we were ready to schedule him for surgery. Since the day Emma was born he has said "We're done! No more kids, two is plenty for us." He's been ready to have the procedure done for quite some time now but I never was quite ready to take such a drastic step, until now. Also, I had an appointment coming that Friday for my annual exam and I had already planned on having the doctor prescribe some birth control pills for me. Keep in mind, our current method of prevention has worked for the past several years! We'd just decided that we needed to take extra precautions now since we were settled with our two girls and weren't going to have any more children. ~HAAAA

How ironic it is that the very week I decided that I am happy with just two kids and that things are perfect just the way they are, I find out that we're going to add another member to our family. I'm usually not one to question God, but that day, I had A LOT of questions! I didn't call Nathan immediately, I waited for him to call me later that afternoon (he was out of town for a few days, working). His response was the complete opposite of what I had expected it would be. He was excited and happy about it. No worries, just excitement. (Okay, who is this man and what did he do with my husband??!) I was stunned that he took it so well and was laughing and saying things like "maybe this one will be a boy but I'd be happy with another girl too" while I'm sitting there on the verge of a nervous break down and a crying fit.

I believe that God prepared his heart for the news and replaced the feelings that he would've normally had with the feelings that we both needed to have. That whole day, I had worried and fretted over it all but after talking to him, he calmed me down and I began to feel better about it and realized that it is a blessing. I began to feel guilty about the things I'd worried and fretted over.

I am doing much better now with it all. I'm beginning to get more excited and less worried about everything. I know that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle and I'm holding him to that promise! I just have to have faith that everything is going to be fine and that soon we'll not be able to imagine our life without this new little one in it.

I was also worried about telling Taylor. She says to me every once in a while "Don't you wish sometimes that you just had me and not Emma too?" (Ha!) I have to reassure her that having Emma here with us is so much better than if we didn't have her at all. Usually by the end of our talk she feels better and is glad that she has a little sister again. She took the news pretty well too. She is excited although it's hard for it to seem real right now. She keeps asking me "Are you SURE you're having another baby?" ha!

My due date is November 9th. (Well, November 8th, but Abby and I decided that November 9th was a better date! ;-) ) I go for an ultrasound on Friday so that will probably give me a more accurate date. Luckily, I haven't been sick much. Just a little nausea here and there and certain foods turn my stomach but that's about it. I have been extremely tired the past couple weeks. Thank the Lord that Emma still naps in the afternoons. Bless her sleepy little heart! That has been my saving grace. We've been taking 3 hour naps every day! And I still am ready to go to bed by 8:00! -never get there at that time though. I'm hoping this fatigue will ease up soon, as we're about to be taken over by the laundry piles and dust bunnies.

Nathan's mom, brother, sister-in-law and niece got here on Saturday of that same week. We were excited to have them here. We had a really good time with them while they were here. The girls were thrilled to have their Meme here for a week. ~and so was I! I got a little break! :) We hated to see them leave. The girls cried and cried but it was school day for both of them so that helped. By the time I dropped them off at school they'd both calmed down and stopped crying.

They are both looking forward to Easter this weekend. Emma has an egg hunt at her school tomorrow and Taylor has one on Thursday. I'm sure they'll be all candied up afterward! I'm looking forward to the long weekend but not the dreaded Easter outfit search. Nathan and the girls are taken care of and have nice new outfits for Easter but not me. I guess I'm going to put it off until Friday or Saturday and then run around like a mad woman trying to find something that comes close to matching them. Ugh! We don't have any big plans for Easter day. Going to church then out to eat and come home and take a nap (YES!) I'm going to miss spending Easter in Arkansas with my family. :( Ahem, gotta stop that kind of talk right now or I'll start bawling! The emotions are in no condition to handle it right now, thanks to the raging hormones!

Well, I've nodded off and bumped my head on my keyboard twice since I started this post so I guess I'd better get to bed! Hope you have a wonderful Easter weekend!!